Animals.
I absolutely love them, ALL of them... except spiders I can't stand them, I won't kill them but I won't hold them either... except jumping spiders I love those. I'm going to tell you a few true stories about the most funny/ horrifying times I have been with animals. Animals usually love me so these are REALLY funny. Let's begin.
Benson: Next door neighbors 145ish pound great dane labradoodle mix. I walk him every day while she's at work, I have a bunch of stories about Benson because he is my favorite dog ever! Let's start at the beginning. Benson was 1 of 11 puppies born from his mother (a great dane) at 2 days old my neighbor volunteered to take care of them while their owner was moving... these puppies were kinda accidental. Benson... or Boss as he was called then was and is the biggest. At two days old he was almost the size of a maltese which isn't saying a lot but they were HUGE for 2 day old puppies. As my neighbor's next door neighbor we did a lot. my favorite puppy in the litter was Shadow he was 100% black btw purebred Great Danes can never be completely black, Benson is black with a white star on his chest. Shadow would plop on my lap and Boss (Benson) was always trying to get my attention. TRUST ME he ended up getting my undivided attention. At about 6 weeks old the puppies went to another house and all of them got sold... except 1 the people that were going to buy him decided they didn't want the biggest puppy of the batch, they were going to give him to a pound but my neighbor being soft decided to take him, she thought it was Shadow but to her horror I told her that it was in fact BOSS the biggest! But to be honest, I wouldn't want any other dog, my neighbor loves him so much! And he's the best dog ever, he potty trained almost instantly he was gentle kinda, he's a puppy he has energy. ANYWAY BLA BLA BLA funny story time. Benson has the habit of FLOPPING, meaning he'll almost stand on his head and flop his entire rest of his body on top of well... YOU. I know countless times he has flopped on me it's funny, but I can remember 1 time he flopping ON MY HEAD his 100 pound butt at the time sat smack dab in the MIDDLE of my FACE. LOL I think that's the funniest thing he's done NOPE there are more but I'm filling up the page so NEXT STORY!
Cotton: My bestie's dwarf bunny, 2 years ago she bought her little baby bunny and ten minutes after she got the bunny she called me... yeah we're tight. We went through a bunch of names, Diva, Snowflake, Cottonball, Pom pom, we settled on Snowflake but her mom had posted online that her name was Cotton... so we made a theme song, here it is!
THERE'S A LITTLE BUNNY NAMED COTTON! SHE'S SWEET BUT SPOILED ROTTON! SHE HIPS SHE HOPS SHE HIPPITY HOPPITY POPS! < That's what my bestie came up with all by herself! BIG FURRY EARS AND LITTLE PINK NOSE, DON'T FORGET THE TINY TAIL! SHE'S SWEET BUT NAUGHTY LEAVES A TRAIL OF POTTY BUT COTTON WE LOVE YOU SO! Sorry, we were 11 and 12 what can I say? Anyway the first day my Bestie got her she bit her brother and pooped all over the room... we were 11 and 12 in VA that's about the time we "HATE" < quotation marks, our brothers. Cotton is a pretty sweet bunny but she put up with A LOT and she had the habit of peeing full on, on the bed... pooping EVERYWHERE, and nibbling your skin... it felt like she chomped but I THINK she was trying to nibble.... A full 9 months after Cotton came... And it was in January 2016 when Cotton came in May 2015 I got my rats... They didn't bite.... they only pooped in their cage, and they dribbled pee, which means pee spots the size of half your pinkie nail, in a line. YEP they were totally better. Also a lot smarter! So last week Pippin was lonely because Munch died so we brought over Cotton for a play date, we were complaining about Pippin while he was licking us and cleaning our nails... Cotton bounces around POOPS on my bed PEES on my bed makes a small HOLE in my sheet and then bites us BOTH of us. Pippin didn't poop didn't chew a hole and let 1 teensy tiny miniscule DOT of pee. THIS is why I like rats better then any other rodent people!
Lillie: My cousin's pig, she's huge she's mean and altogether nasty. My cousins have a little hobby farm in Indiana, they have 2 pigs Lillie (the jerky girl) and Thistle (the sweet boy) then they have 2 miniature cow. (Patty Cake girl) and Donut (boy) they have a bunch of chickens and a dog and a cat Duncan (boy dog) Simone (boy cat) Anyway back to Lillie evil Demon of a pig. Now don't get me wrong, Lillie wasn't always evil she used to be sweet and gentle when she was younger. Well yeah, not anymore. She'll sit in her seat on the couch and if you get to close SNAP she'll try to BITE YOU she'll even bite my cousins -__- ugh what is your problem PIG? Also she kept charging at me trying to bite and then she'd ask for a treat if I'd say no she'd squeal and grunt and snap and cry TEARS! What the potato piggy!? Yep she's evil, she actually bit both twin girl cousins in the behind SERIOUSLY!? Yeah and she dandruffs on the couch, but they won't let the sweet dog or cat or pig in the house only the evil pig... YEAH THAT makes sense, and their mom thinks that my sweet not DISGUSTING rat is a sewer rat, NOPE read my thing about rats if you think they're gross.
My Rats: I'll have to write their own personal article because my rats were and are HILARIOUS
That's all I have for now thanks for reading!
I absolutely love them, ALL of them... except spiders I can't stand them, I won't kill them but I won't hold them either... except jumping spiders I love those. I'm going to tell you a few true stories about the most funny/ horrifying times I have been with animals. Animals usually love me so these are REALLY funny. Let's begin.
Benson: Next door neighbors 145ish pound great dane labradoodle mix. I walk him every day while she's at work, I have a bunch of stories about Benson because he is my favorite dog ever! Let's start at the beginning. Benson was 1 of 11 puppies born from his mother (a great dane) at 2 days old my neighbor volunteered to take care of them while their owner was moving... these puppies were kinda accidental. Benson... or Boss as he was called then was and is the biggest. At two days old he was almost the size of a maltese which isn't saying a lot but they were HUGE for 2 day old puppies. As my neighbor's next door neighbor we did a lot. my favorite puppy in the litter was Shadow he was 100% black btw purebred Great Danes can never be completely black, Benson is black with a white star on his chest. Shadow would plop on my lap and Boss (Benson) was always trying to get my attention. TRUST ME he ended up getting my undivided attention. At about 6 weeks old the puppies went to another house and all of them got sold... except 1 the people that were going to buy him decided they didn't want the biggest puppy of the batch, they were going to give him to a pound but my neighbor being soft decided to take him, she thought it was Shadow but to her horror I told her that it was in fact BOSS the biggest! But to be honest, I wouldn't want any other dog, my neighbor loves him so much! And he's the best dog ever, he potty trained almost instantly he was gentle kinda, he's a puppy he has energy. ANYWAY BLA BLA BLA funny story time. Benson has the habit of FLOPPING, meaning he'll almost stand on his head and flop his entire rest of his body on top of well... YOU. I know countless times he has flopped on me it's funny, but I can remember 1 time he flopping ON MY HEAD his 100 pound butt at the time sat smack dab in the MIDDLE of my FACE. LOL I think that's the funniest thing he's done NOPE there are more but I'm filling up the page so NEXT STORY!
Cotton: My bestie's dwarf bunny, 2 years ago she bought her little baby bunny and ten minutes after she got the bunny she called me... yeah we're tight. We went through a bunch of names, Diva, Snowflake, Cottonball, Pom pom, we settled on Snowflake but her mom had posted online that her name was Cotton... so we made a theme song, here it is!
THERE'S A LITTLE BUNNY NAMED COTTON! SHE'S SWEET BUT SPOILED ROTTON! SHE HIPS SHE HOPS SHE HIPPITY HOPPITY POPS! < That's what my bestie came up with all by herself! BIG FURRY EARS AND LITTLE PINK NOSE, DON'T FORGET THE TINY TAIL! SHE'S SWEET BUT NAUGHTY LEAVES A TRAIL OF POTTY BUT COTTON WE LOVE YOU SO! Sorry, we were 11 and 12 what can I say? Anyway the first day my Bestie got her she bit her brother and pooped all over the room... we were 11 and 12 in VA that's about the time we "HATE" < quotation marks, our brothers. Cotton is a pretty sweet bunny but she put up with A LOT and she had the habit of peeing full on, on the bed... pooping EVERYWHERE, and nibbling your skin... it felt like she chomped but I THINK she was trying to nibble.... A full 9 months after Cotton came... And it was in January 2016 when Cotton came in May 2015 I got my rats... They didn't bite.... they only pooped in their cage, and they dribbled pee, which means pee spots the size of half your pinkie nail, in a line. YEP they were totally better. Also a lot smarter! So last week Pippin was lonely because Munch died so we brought over Cotton for a play date, we were complaining about Pippin while he was licking us and cleaning our nails... Cotton bounces around POOPS on my bed PEES on my bed makes a small HOLE in my sheet and then bites us BOTH of us. Pippin didn't poop didn't chew a hole and let 1 teensy tiny miniscule DOT of pee. THIS is why I like rats better then any other rodent people!
Lillie: My cousin's pig, she's huge she's mean and altogether nasty. My cousins have a little hobby farm in Indiana, they have 2 pigs Lillie (the jerky girl) and Thistle (the sweet boy) then they have 2 miniature cow. (Patty Cake girl) and Donut (boy) they have a bunch of chickens and a dog and a cat Duncan (boy dog) Simone (boy cat) Anyway back to Lillie evil Demon of a pig. Now don't get me wrong, Lillie wasn't always evil she used to be sweet and gentle when she was younger. Well yeah, not anymore. She'll sit in her seat on the couch and if you get to close SNAP she'll try to BITE YOU she'll even bite my cousins -__- ugh what is your problem PIG? Also she kept charging at me trying to bite and then she'd ask for a treat if I'd say no she'd squeal and grunt and snap and cry TEARS! What the potato piggy!? Yep she's evil, she actually bit both twin girl cousins in the behind SERIOUSLY!? Yeah and she dandruffs on the couch, but they won't let the sweet dog or cat or pig in the house only the evil pig... YEAH THAT makes sense, and their mom thinks that my sweet not DISGUSTING rat is a sewer rat, NOPE read my thing about rats if you think they're gross.
My Rats: I'll have to write their own personal article because my rats were and are HILARIOUS
That's all I have for now thanks for reading!
This is hilarious! I can totally relate to the piggy problems... Tho ours were male which made it worse.. Dont even mention our demon of a duck we once hadXD
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